Wedding Guest List: Who to Include and How to Limit Numbers

One part of wedding planning we thought would be easy was coming up with our guest list. Both Tyrell and I are close with our families and have had the same friends since we were 12. Well, we were oh so very wrong. Once you start compiling a list it grows exponentially faster than you anticipate. What we thought would be 300 people soon turned into 400 and then 500! Part of this was because we are inviting kids which definitely added an extra 100 to our number. But how could we choose which family and friends should be on the list and which could be left off?

Maybe List

The first thing we did to take down our number was a maybe guest list. This is people that we would invite once someone else on the list had already declined. At the end of the day not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. So as soon as cousin Henry from Arkansas texted me to say him and his 3 kids would be in Mexico and couldn’t attend, I immediately sent the invitation to a friend on our maybe guest list.

Now, I would NEVER want anyone to feel like a second choice. However, when you need to limit your numbers for catering purposes it is essential that you stick to your budget. This was the best way we knew how. And seriously we wish every single person we ever met could celebrate this special day with us! But realistically we needed to keep our numbers realistic.

People Just Want the Invite

One thing we very quickly realized was that everyone wants to be invited to a wedding. Because our wedding is in Utah but we both grew up in Idaho many friends and family will have to travel to our wedding. With that information, we knew that many of them would be unable to attend. We quickly realized that some people just wanted to be invited. So we started sending invites to these people knowing there was a 90% chance they would decline.

And you know what? Paying for postage to send them an invited made them happy and didn’t screw with our numbers. It was a win-win. I can almost guarantee that your third cousin in Alabama is not going to fly to California for your wedding. However, she definitely wants to be invited. So just send the dang invite!

Don’t Please Everyone

Now, the hard thing with all aspects of wedding planning are your families. My dad wanted to invite all of his high school buddies and Tyrell’s mom invited her professional contacts. But if you don’t have the numbers to accommodate your parents’ friends? Don’t do it! It is not their wedding! Seriously, your parents are still going to love you even if you tell them they need to trim up their guest list.

Along those same lines, do not invite people that you don’t love. There are family members or old friends that feel entitled to be invited. But why would we invite someone to our wedding day who is always negative and we don’t even get along with? It is okay to leave negative people off your list. Even family.

No One is Worth an Argument

Read that again. NO ONE IS WORTH AN ARGUMENT. Wedding planning should be fun and exciting. Yes, it is stressful trying to stay on budget and keep your guest list within catering numbers. However, if your S/O really wants to invite their childhood neighbor they haven’t seen in 12 years… just let them! It is not worth the argument that will come if you try to talk them out of it. And they are probably doing the same for you. You really think they want your Aunt Jan who always talks about how they aren’t good enough for you to attend? No. But they know you love Aunt Jan and she is a little nuts anyways so she stays on the list.

Again, many of these people won’t be able to come anyways. So just save yourself the effort and send them an invite. I promise that your life will be so much better if you avoid these pointless disagreements. Enjoy every moment of planning your special day. Don’t get too stressed out or too frustrated. I promise it will all work out the way that it is meant to. And don’t forget that no matter who is on your list, send Save The Dates early!